Deciding to bin the booze

In May last year, I decided to make a change. A change that I would never in a million years have thought that I would. I decided that it was time to give up alcohol. This was not my usual ‘no alcohol for a month’ or ‘no alcohol on weeknights‘ detox. This was something else

I had come to realise that I did not have a good relationship with alcohol and that it was time to make a change.

Now before you panic and think that I am about to preach to you all about the reasons why you should give up alcohol, do not! I am not here to judge or list reasons drinking alcohol could ruin your life. My aim is just to share my story with you and some of the ways I have learnt to enjoy an alcohol free life.

Like most brits, drinking has always been part of my culture. I had grown up around alcohol-fueled dinner parties, nights spent with the family in our local village pub and small glasses of wine with dinner. To me drinking alcohol was completely normal and something everyone did. By the age of 14, although not drinking regularly when I did drink at parties I would drink a lot more than my friends would. I would get very drunk and black out or drink until I was sick. What seemed to be harmless fun was in fact the beginning of a journey to becoming a problem drinker.

‘Am I a problem drinker?’ I asked this question often. I never believed I was an alcoholic. I did not wake up craving a vodka martini or sneaking brandy in to my morning coffee. I was a fun drunk who maybe occasionally had one too many. Therefore, I carried on going to parties drinking bottles and bottles of Prosecco and decided it was fine, my drinking was under control and I believed that a little party never killed anyone.

Everyone knew me as a fun party girl who loved a drink. People would joke with me and friends would make comments, all birthday cards would reference bottles of Prosecco and cocktails and I was always first to be asked on a night out. I enjoyed being one of the lads who was always up for a laugh.

The truth was it was not funny, I did not love it and I did not want to be the fun party girl. I hated that was what I was known for. I hated that I would wake up not remembering the night before but mostly I just knew it did not make me feel good. Still I carried on doing it most weekends.

In May 2018 after a week of parties and binge drinking, I decided enough was enough. I realised my anxiety was overwhelming me and I wasn’t feeling myself. If I carried on this way it would not be pretty and I would have to own the party girl crown with only myself to blame. That day I got online and ordered some books. Books that would later become my bible. Catherine Grey’s The unexpected joy of being sober and Sarah Hepola’s Blackout. These biographies were so relatable to me that they gave me the courage to stop for good.

The first few weeks were better than expected. I was so excited for my new lifestyle that I really enjoyed embracing the new challenge. I went for walks, read books and fully embraced the teetotal lifestyle. I soon came to realise summer was fast approaching there would be parties, holidays, festivals, weddings and I was not quite ready for them. Although my partner was being supportive, I knew that I needed the help of my friends. We were quite a boozy bunch and I did not want to fall at the first hurdle. I sent a text to all friends and family telling them I was giving up alcohol to avoid any encouragement to drink. This was the best move and I received many messages of support, which gave me confidence to go for it.

After a couple of month’s alcohol free, I started to feel a huge shift in myself mentally and physically. I was not longer lethargic and paranoid, my IBS had completely stopped and most of all I was starting to feel in full control of my well-being. I still attended parties, weddings and work drinks just as before. The only difference was instead of drinking bottles and bottles of wine and outstaying my welcome I would enjoy a non-alcoholic alternative and I would leave a lot earlier on without upsetting anyone.

I am now teetotal. Something I never thought possible or to be honest even considered. I feel like a new person and although not fully there yet I am slowly becoming a much healthier, vibrant and happier person. My Inner goddess is finally coming out and I am able to become the best version of myself.

Whether you relate to my story entirely or would just like to have a detox or even cut back slightly this blog will give you many tips, alcohol free drinks alternatives, and insights in to what I have learnt along the way.

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  • Sharon Anne Kennedy

    Hi Anne
    I just found this post and I seriously could have written this. I too am ten months AF. It’ll be a year on April 21st. I live in LA but am from England and grew up thinking drinking was the be all and end all. Until one day I’d had enough. Tired of the guilt and shame I’d feel. Tired of thinking about drinking. Wanting to set a better example for my kids. Wanting to work on my marriage and knowing that the drinking wasn’t helping. Wanting to be healthier.
    It’s the best decision I’ve made. I am so much happier.
    So happy to have found your blog. I wonder where you live?

    • Anne

      Hi Sharon,

      Thank you so much for your message. Its so great to hear other inspiring stories and knowing you are not the only one out there. Such a wonderful community to be a part of.
      I love LA visited a few years ago, would love to go back.
      I currently live in Chelsea, London. If you are ever this way let me know and we will go for a coffee.

      Anne xx

      • Amanda Kemp

        Thank you Anne, your story is really inspiring.
        I have also decided to quit for good after years of self delusion and dangerous booze and drug binges, a couple of which very nearly killed me.
        I look forward to reading more!
        Mandi x

        • Anne

          Thank you Mandi. The only way is up. So glad i finally realised just how much better life could be and stop deluding myself also. Hope you have a wonderful weekend.xx

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